As I may not necessarily have pictures for today’s post, I have something heavy laden on my heart. There are so so so many fashion, lifestyle, and gorgeous blogs out there, and they are mainly all about outer beauty. What to wear to be noticed, to stand out, to fit in, to be beautiful. What to eat to loose weight to get the body to make you attractive to guys and make other girls jealous of you. It can all be about one upping and being better than the rest. And as much as outer beauty is gorgeous, enticing, and desirable, its really not what life is all about. Its not what we should always be striving for? Aren’t you tired?
Now, I am a huge proponent of looking good to feel good. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to wear something you love and wanting to be accepted by others. It’s a natural human need to feel accepted and loved. However, we are always so focused on how we appear to others. I know this topic has been around for so long, but I just feel the need to get this off my chest as this has affected my life personally and the lives of those nearest and dearest to me. Also, the fact that I currently own and operate a fashion blog and online boutique, I want y’all to understand what it is I truly believe in and what I really want to focus on, and for you to focus on too. This post is about the PRESSURE and FOCUS we so heavily put on the way we look. If you honestly think about it, there are so many pretty pictures and beautiful people, how many do you actually remember? Now how many people do you remember who have beautiful hearts and affected you in an impactful way? I promise you, if you are being honest with yourself, you remember more of the latter.
Not to mention, outward looks are fleeting. It only last for so long. And beauty comes in so many different forms, so many colors, so many ethnicities, so many ages, so many sizes, and especially so many weights. Are you truly prettier 10 pounds lighter? In your mind, maybe you are. But are you happier? Hungrier? More stressed? Are you nicer, or meaner? Are you more prideful, or more humble? Can you now start your life the way you wanted? Or did you forget you were living the only life you were given the entire time? We put SO much pressure on our weight and what size we are. We compare ourselves to other. We rejoice when we are smaller than others and scorn ourselves for when we are bigger. You know where this got us? With the diseases of anorexia, bulimia, depression and anxiety in girls as young as 13. Maybe even younger. I know little girls in 3rd grade being teased for eating tortilla soup because it’s “unhealthy and fattening”. She’s what, maybe 10? Don’t you remember being young and innocent, eating whatever you wanted and not even realizing it? Wasn’t life great back then?
I’m so disappointed in our society. Honestly. I love fashion and style, working out and feeling strong, being comfortable but also accepting that i’m not perfect. All these things are good things! But they have been taken so far out of context. They have been taken to the extreme, and are no longer positive things anymore. They are hurting women and young girls, even guys, more than helping them by any means. I have seen how the influence of the desire to loose weight, be thin, be a specific size, to be the smallest one in a group, can RUIN someones life. And as it ruins that persons life, it ruins the lives of everyone around them.
The hardest part about all of this? As much as we can read this and realize that this is true, that it should change, and it would make all of our lives so much happier and better, it doesn’t change anything. We still want to be thin, we still buy the health magazines, and we still stare in awe at Victoria Secret models and say that we would do anything to be them. Im guilty of it. I know it. And of all people, I know I should know better. So how do we change this? How do we actually go about changing they way we, and society, view beauty? We need to change the meaning of beauty.
Webster’s dictionary defines beauty in two ways:
1. the quality of being physically attractive
2. the qualities in a person or a thing that give pleasure to the senses or the mind
Those are 2 very different definitions. One talks about outward beauty and the other about internal aspects. Who is to say what is physically attractive? Isn’t it said that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. WE DONT ALL LOOK THE SAME FOR A REASON! We don’t get to choose the genes that make us up. So why do we keep judging one another for something they can’t control? Why do we keep trying to change ourselves?
We need to focus on the second definition. Inward beauty is what actually makes up a person. It’s who a person actually is. All things are good in moderation, and working out and loving fashion are not bad. But the way we focus on them is hurting the lives of those around us.
“There is always more than what meets the eye.”
“You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.” Song of Solomon 4:7
“Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” 1 Peter 4: 3-4
“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30